In Paris, thousands of people are living on the streets. But when I join food distributions, I’ve noticed that I rarely see any women. It made me wonder−where are they? The truth is many of them are hidden in places like family camps or inside buildings, which makes them invisible and often underrepresented. This is exactly the issue Not Alone75 is tackling. It organizes the community kitchen, offering a place where refugee women, often with kids, can express their needs and to feel a sense of community.
On April 10th, I joined a grocery run for the community kitchen in Château rouge, alongside other staff and beneficiaries. We hopped between several stores such as a supermarket, a Congolese poissonnerie, and a local épicerie. Those stores were bustling! Congolese ladies knew exactly what they were looking for, picking out ingredients for the dishes they had planned for Saturday: cassava leaves, rice, chicken legs, paprika, etc. Since we were shopping for about 50 to 60 servings, everything came in enormous quantities. I usually just go to the supermarket to do grocery shopping, so I was surprised by the variety. So many special ingredients and condiments from across Africa!
That morning, I joined the grocery run with Anja, the founder of the community kitchen, and I asked her about the initiative and support it offers to women specifically. She told me that she started the community kitchen mainly for pregnant women and mothers with children, after noticing that many existing support systems are designed around the “average” beneficiary, maximizing the number of people reached, but often leaving more vulnerable groups behind. “Female refugees and homeless women are often more vulnerable, as many of them face risks of being stalked or experiencing violence while living on the street.”, she explained. As a result, many women end up sleeping in places like parking garages, the hallway of code-locked apartments, or women-only shelters, making them essentially invisible to passersby or aid organizations. This reflects the idea of intersectionality, where factors like gender, caregiving responsibilities, and refugee status overlap, creating additional layers of vulnerability. These intersecting identities create needs that standard support system often struggle to address all at once. For example, many women face sexual violence during their journey, as well as vulnerability to domestic violence. If they do not have official documents, or if their residency status is tied to a family member, they may hesitate to take legal action. Many also do not have a safe place to go or support network to rely on outside of their family here. Anja pointed out that for women, especially those who are pregnant or caring for young children, general refugees and homeless support may not fit their needs.
So, what she did first was to ask. She asked refugee women what they actually needed; they answered that they wanted to cook their own food. And that’s how the community kitchen was born. Not Alone75 covers the cost of groceries and provides a space where women can cook and share meals together. Anja was clear that respecting the autonomy and freedom of beneficiaries is one of the core values. “Beneficiaries cook for others themselves, with the help of volunteers, so they get to choose what they eat, while also staying connected to their culture and community through sharing local specialties.” Anja said. The balance of support and independence really inspired me!
She also introduced some important ground rules to me when interacting with children at the shelter. Since much of the volunteers’ work involves looking after kids while the women cook, there are clear guidelines: limited physical contact, no photos of kids, and no photos of kids posted on SNS. For newcomers, handing their children to strangers requires an enormous amount of trust. So, Anja is intentional about keeping the volunteer group small and consistent at first, giving the staff the chance to build genuine relationships with the families and earn that trust over time.
After the shopping, we went to the shelter to drop off everything we bought. When I walked in the building, I noticed a very welcoming and lively atmosphere, with children playing and running everywhere. Anja mentioned that the community kitchen connected her to different cultures. There’s often festive music playing, and sometimes children and mothers start dancing to it. Also, when it comes to cooking, Congolese people do not compromise. It often takes three to five hours to cook as the sauces are sometimes made from scratch, simmered for a long time. The servings are usually for 50 to 60 people, so you can imagine how hard it is to even estimate when it’ll be ready. But quality comes first!
The next day, I met up with other volunteers at ESI Georgette Agutte in the 18th arrondissement to help out at the community kitchen. There were already lots of women and young children, and our main job was to play with children and keep an eye on them. The kitchen already smelled incredible when I arrived! Outside, the kids were full of energy, some played with toys or read books, while others ran out to play football or ride minibikes. I joined in a game of “1, 2, 3 Soleil!”, and got sent straight back to the start for flinching. They were not going easy on me. The kids warmed up quickly and got mischievous and playful in the best way. With 10 to 20 kids to keep track of, it took us real focus, and sometimes it took strength to break up a small fight among them, but I genuinely loved keeping them company and playing with them!
For lunch, we were served a Congolese dish: beans and cassava leaves on white rice, with fried chicken. It was delicious! We all sat together at a long table, and we all shared a beautiful meal together.
I got to chat with two ladies from Congo during the day. Their experiences and duration of their involvement differed. One of them recently found out about Not Alone75 through an acquaintance. Since she was very new, she hadn’t formed many strong opinions yet, but she told me that she appreciated the welcoming atmosphere there and how nice it feels to share a meal with others. On the other hand, the other beneficiary who was one of the women cooking that day, first heard about the kitchen through a social initiative at the Hôtel de Ville. She said that the community kitchen offers her a place to rest, and a big help in taking care of children before they were old enough for school. She loves sharing food with other people, and these days, she also finds joy in cooking for others, channeling her love of cooking as well as helping look after other kids. I think the community kitchen is a great opportunity for these women to connect with others and support each other. Especially sharing meals and moment creates a sense of community and solidarity.
I also spoke with Maria, one of the Not Alone 75 team members. As she has volunteered throughout her life, she realized her leadership and start-up thinking can be useful to help build out the organization through things like an official website, platform, and databases. She mentioned emotional complexities and things to be mindful of in this kind of work. Some of the children may have experienced hardship and instability, so it takes patience and understanding when they act out. The kids can be rough sometimes, I saw some of them start screaming and crying and get angry at times, but what we can do is to empathize with them and be by their side with love. But Maria said the women are very talkative and warm, and the children gradually open up as they get more comfortable with familiar faces.
Refugee women do not experience their hardship in separate. The challenges of being undocumented, taking on caregiving roles, and facing gender-based vulnerability without stable housing are deeply interconnected. Together, they can limit access to the job market while increasing financial dependence and the risk of social isolation. The idea Maria kept coming back to was the difference between “helping” and solidarity. She explains that one-sided helping is often linked with pity which creates a vertical relationship and a distance between the helper and beneficiaries while solidarity restores a horizontal relationship and deep empathy, without any pity or control. She emphasizes that it’s very important to create a safe space where women can define their own needs and realize it through collaboration with them. That distinction hit me. This isn’t a place where people receive help passively, but a place where people cook, share, laugh, and build something together. And that makes all the difference.
In Paris, there are several organizations that offer aid for refugee women. If you’d like to learn more, here are some organizations that provide shelters or accommodations for women:
- ESI Georgette Agutte: A shelter which is open 5 days a week with some hot drinks. It is partnered with Not Alone 75, and there is kitchen available only when the community kitchen is organized.
- FIT(Une Femme un toit): offer a social housing and reintegration center as well as emergency accommodation center for women aged between 18 and 25 without children who are victims of sexist and/or sexual violence, and living in a precarious situation. https://www.associationfit.org/l-association
- HHU(Habitat & humanism Urgence): Provide shelter and support along with legal, medical, professional support, including job training, housing, and cultural integration programs.
https://www.habitat-humanisme.org/le-mouvement/urgence/ - Emmaüs Solidarité -Centre d’Ivry: Run a large migrant emergency accommodation center with around 450 places.
https://www.emmaus-solidarite.org/sur-le-terrain/les-hebergements - Singa-J’accueille: Connects refugees with French residents who are willing to facilitate refugees, ranging from a few days to several months of experience living with locals.
https://www.jaccueille.fr/je-découvre - Réfugiés Bienvenue: Mobilize a network of individuals in Île-de-France to host refugees free of charge in their homes.
https://refugiesbienvenue.com/l-association/ - CyclAvenir: Offers a program for social integration of women and professional integration of women in precarious situations. It uses the bicecle as a tool for autonomy, social ties, and access to the city as well as culture.
https://cyclavenir.com
A huge thank you to Not Alone 75 for welcoming us into this community and allowing me to witness such meaningful work! And thank you to Anja and Maria for sharing your time, vision, and passion with me, and to Cristal, Carina and all the women and children at the kitchen for letting me be part of your day.
